The following steps are a plan to increase my safety in the event of violence. Although I do not have control over my partner’s violence, I do have a choice about how to plan for my own safety.

Step 1: Safety during an incident and when leaving: The following are some strategies that I can use to increase my safety during violent incidents and when leaving.

1. If I decide to leave, I  Will______________________. (Practice how to get out safely. What doors, windows, elevators, stairwells or fire escapes would you use?). I will go______________________________ (place).
   
   
2. I can keep my purse and car keys ready and put them _______________(place) in order to leave quickly.
   
   
3. I can tell_________________________ about the violence and request they call the police if they hear suspicious noises coming from my house.
   
   
4. I can set up a signal with_______________ (only if a true emergency) to call the police. Some examples are turning on or off a light, hanging a towel in the window, etc.
   
   
5. I will trust my intuition and use my best judgment. I am the expert on my situation and only I know when it is safe to leave.
   
   
6. To increase my independence I can open a bank account in only my name and/or have my mail sent to a confidential address.
7. If I need shelter or other assistance in preparing to leave I can call the Sable House 24-hr hotline at 503-623-4033 or 1-866-305-3030. If I am in another county I can call their hotline at _______________.
   
   
8. I will keep change, calling card or cell phone with me at all times. I undertand that using phones that abusers can get records on could make the situation unsafe.
   
   
9. I will review my safety plan every_________________. I will practice my escape plan.

Step 2: Safety for children during violent incidents: These are some things I can do to help my children stay safe during violent incidents. I undertand that children are aware of violence even if they do not seem to show it. Their feelings during or after a violent event may include confusion, fear, anger, powerlessness, and guilt.

1.  I can explain to my children that it is not their job to try to stop my partner from hurting me or others. I can ask them to try to keep themselves safe when there is violence instead of trying to stop it. I can explain to each child that the violence is not her/his fault and that they are not alone. Many other moms and children have had similar experiences to ours.

1. I can explain to my children that it is not their job to try to stop my partner from hurting me or others. I can ask them to try to keep themselves safe when there is violence instead of trying to stop it. I can explain to each child that the violence is not her/his fault.                          
2. I can teach my children how to use the telephone to contact the police.
   
   
3. I will use___________________ as my code word with my children so they can call for help.
   
   
4. I can take my children to __________________ if I feel a dangerous situation coming on.
   
   
5. I can help each child think of at least three (3) adults she/he could talk to when they are feeling confused or down, such as myself, a teacher, a counselor or_________________.
   
   
6. I can give each child positive attention by ______________ .

Step 3:  If you have children, you may need to have contact with the abuser.  Abusers often use children as a tool to manipulate thier partner.  The following are some tips for safety.

1. Arrange for a neutral or safe place to exchange the children. Such places or people might be____________________.
   
   
2. Do safety planning with your children first.
   
   
3. Keep documentation about what happened during the exchange.
   
   
4. Check-in with your children about the visit. Make sure they are okay.

Step 4: In an abusive relationship, drug and alcohol use by the abuser is an additional safety risk.

1. If my abuser is using, I can _______________________.
   

Step 5: The following are some steps I can take to help with the enforcement of my restraining order.

1. I will keep my restraining order ___________________ (location).
   
2. I will give a copy of my restraining order to police departments in the community where I work or visit.
   
   
3. I can call to confirm the status of my restraining order with Court Records (if filed in Polk County) at 503-623-3154 or I can confirm with the county I filed in _____________________.
   
   
4. If I move to a new county I will file my restraining order with them as soon as possible.
   
   
5. If I have any questions about restraining orders I can call Sable House at 503-623-4033.
   
   
6. I will inform my employer, my friends and family that I have a restraining order in effect.
   
   
7. I will provide a copy of my restraining order to my childrens school or day care provider.
   
   
8. If the abuser destroys my restraining order I can get another copy at the Polk County Court House. There is a small fee for the copies.
   
   
9. If the abuser violates the restraining order, I can call the police, the district attorney’s office, my lawyer or Sable House. If the police do not respond to the report, I can call the other contacts above to get help.

Step 6: The following are some steps I can take to stay safe on the job or in public.

1. I can inform my supervisor and a trusted co-worker at work of my situation.
   
2. When leaving work, I can _______________________.

Step 7:  Being abused is also emotionally draining. The process of building a life safe from abuse takes a lot of courage and energy. The following are some steps I can take to keep up my emotional health.

1. Some of my stressors are _______________________.
   
   
2. When I am feeling stressed I can _____________________ (journal, talk with support person, go for walk, etc.)
   
   
3. If I feel like I “need” to talk to or see my partner I can _______________ .
   
4. If I have to communicate with the abuser I can write down beforehand what we need to talk about and not deviate from it, I can send messages through another trusted adult (not my children), leave or hang-up if the abuser starts getting abusive or if I feel unsafe, take a trusted person with me.

Step 8: Items to take when leaving if it is sae and there is time.

TELEPHONE NUMBERS I NEED TO KNOW:

Police Emergency: 911
Polk County Sheriff:  503-623-9251
District Attorney’s Office/Victims Asst.:  503-623-9268
Dallas Police Dept.:  503-623-2335
Monmouth Police Dept:  503-838-1109
Independence Police Dept:  503-838-1214
Salem Police Dept:  503-588-6123
Sable House:  1-866-305-3030 or 503-623-4033
Polk County Courthouse:  503-623-3154
Other: _____________________